a broken heart is a heart broken

I was watching glee last night (yep, i'm a gleek) and i was so mesmerized by the song Rachel sang at the prom. normally i wouldnt notice the songs lyrics much, but when i heard this song, my heart felt attracted to it and decided to google it up and i found the lyrics and then i youtubed it.

As i listen to the song, i feel even more attracted to the song. It's such a meaningful song and somehow it just matches my feelings. This past year, i have had my heart broken and my dreams crushed over and over again by the same person. Leaving me behind by just pushing me aside one day, and until today i know that he still is looking for a chance that i might just come back to him. 

And so, i decided to post it up here. Should he look for me or should he stumble across this, i hope he understands what it means. 

xx PS: if you're reading this, i hope u understand that what you did really broke my heart. Even if you feel that you need to make amends, i just hope you dont come to me. i know it may make me sound as if i am strong. but the truth is, you know very well that if you do come back, i'll be the one running towards you because what we had was so special that it can't compare to anything else that i have. All that i ask from you now is to cherish what you have/had because as much as i want to come back, i just cant go thru the fear of you leaving me behind again. xx

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love
I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

When Life Gives You Lemons

I've always heard or maybe seen a quote that says; "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Lemonades". I know it's meant to give some sort of encouragement. However, what if the person receiving those lemons are allergic to it? Do you still go and make lemonades with it?


I've only started thinking about it ever since lemons been pouring in my life lately. I know i'm not allergic to them, but when you think about it carefully, with all those lemons, even I would end up being allergic to them. Anyways, moving on from the lemons. My life currently has been one big battle.


As my life spirals down this long and winding tunnel, I think finally I am seeing the so called light at the end of this hectic battle. Eventhough I feel like life is about to change, I still have doubt deep in my heart because i know that lemons just don't disappear from your life until you've actually dealt with if not all but most of it. Afterall, I have finally decided that instead of making leamonades with all those lemons, I can also make lemon meringue and maybe some cheese cake. XD

All I can say is that; 'when life gives you lemons, you utilize every single one of them until you really feel satisfied with the outcome'. Afterall, it's your own life and no matter how hard you try to just go with the flow, you really have to deal with all the poblems because if you never try, you'll never find a solution.

i am a little drowsy~~

today, i feel very very whoozyy...
i think it's the meds kickin into action as we speak...
that's one pretty strong cough syrup..
i really feel like the doc has given me some kind of drug~~

i think i'm just gonna shut my eyes for a mminute~~
just a while~~

ZzZzZzzzZzzzzZ